Friday, May 18, 2012

You're The One That I Want



Sometimes monster-large charitable organizations – the good-doing groups that benefit from 5K runs, black-tie balls and pledge drives - can honestly become kind of anonymous in your mind. 

You feel great about writing a check, donating an item for auction, or getting your sweat on with friends for 60 miles in 3 days for a great cause.

Absolutely.

But does it hit your heart? Maybe not that hard.

I think it’s often because we can’t clearly envision the process of those funds being used – or we don’t personally know people being helped by a particular organization.

Then something happens that causes that non-profit to become a very important element in your life. And you want to hug every living soul on their payroll.

That was me and the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center. I knew they were doing good in the world in a general sense.

But I had certainly never opened their doors in Houston and walked in about something very important to me. Or someone.

Then a few years ago, the amazing people and resources at M.D. Anderson significantly extended the life of my wonderful aunt during her battle with terminal cancer.

I had the privilege of staying with Aunt Billie at M.D. Anderson one weekend during her treatment, and was so moved by the incredible care she received, and the facility around us. It planted in me a very grateful heart toward this exceptional organization.

There is no ‘quit’ in M.D. Anderson. They are so, so determined to save the people you love. Period.

Recently, Super Much Love had the opportunity be a sponsor of the 23rd annual MD Anderson A Conversation With A Living Legend® luncheon and fundraiser in Dallas.

The event honored Tony Blair, former British Prime Minister, as this year’s Living Legend. Mr. Blair was interviewed during the luncheon by FOX News’ Greta Van Susteren. 



Mr. Blair is a believer in the life-saving work of MD Anderson, and was so gracious to both the organization and the United States in his comments.

To be frank, the former PM rocked the house. Witty, brilliant and full of political and human insight, he had the room of 1000 completely engaged and, often, laughing.

This fundraiser was Super Much Love’s first involvement with a non-profit, and, we hope, one of many more to come. 


We were tickled pink to be joined at our table by some long-time advocates of SML, as well as a number of the wonderful folks who work directly on the brand – from the fantastic designers at SWOON The Studio, to our legal counsel, Dyan House, and social media consultant, Hendrik de Vries of SplashMedia.

Right outside the event hall was a table displaying a number of gorgeous, inspiring items created by young patients at M.D. Anderson as part of the Children’s Art Project.

Seriously great stuff.

We found a sweet iPhone cover, and some ridiculously cool, over-sized floral magnets that had to come home with us. Each features fabulous artwork created by young patients at M.D. Anderson.


You can find these and many other goodies for a good cause at www.childrensart.org. Use discount code UCM10 for $5 off your purchase of $50 or more. Proceeds benefit programs that enhance the lives of pediatric patients and their families, both during and after treatment.

What better reason to shop early for a birthday, host or thank-you gift – or maybe nab new fun magnets for displaying your own babies’ artwork on the fridge?

Art and love are the great communicators and healers of our hearts, you know? 

If you haven't already, I encourage you to seek out and jump in with the cause that resonates with you

And know that whatever you do will make a difference. Because your heart is in it, love.

Love,
-Melinda

Illustration Credit: 'Umbrella' - Minimil/Vetta/Getty Images






Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Love To Love You, Baby


Lots of folks - both men and women - are raised to be people-pleasers.

I was. Same for my sweet mom, who really tried to ensure that my emotional spine was a better representation of ‘healthy’ than the one she had been given.

As a Pleaser, you’re focused on making things perfect for everyone – but yourself. You tend to experience big highs from good feedback, and over-react to negative remarks.

In your desire to become what everyone needs, you forget what YOU need. And you stop shopping for it.

Charge on that way for too long, and you can emotionally (and sometimes, physically) run dry. Which leads you to inwardly resent the very folks you’re loving on.

The objects of your excessive efforts can’t figure out why you ‘started out so nice,’ and yet are turning emotionally constipated and snippy by the day.

Part of my growing up and opening up in this world has been learning what to share with others, and what to enjoy for myself - sans guilt; sans the 'Pity-Me-I'm-Such-a-Giver Show.'

No one watches that show by choice.

Achieving balance in giving and receiving comprises daily strokes of little, conscious decisions…until listening to your gut - which never lies about what it takes to make you whole - becomes more instinctive.

I’ve learned that occasionally hitting extremes of thoughtfulness is lovely for you and the recipient of your affection. Giving should not, however, be the full-orientation of your sweet psyche. 


If you've ever perused 'The Five Love Languages' by Gary Chapman, you have an idea of the specific behaviors or ‘language’ that constitute ‘love’ in your eyes – actions by others that make your heart move a foot, rather than an inch, in their direction.

Your ‘language’ (one of the following: Words of Affirmation; Quality Time; Receiving Gifts; Acts of Service or Physical Touch) is also the mode in which you will most naturally show affection to others.

For me, it's Receiving Gifts. So I also like to give them. And in my people-pleasing tendency, it has admittedly gotten a little out of control in the past - particularly in romantic relationships.

Any of my old friends will nod wildly if you ask them about this, having observed relationship-after-present-stuffed-relationship.

Me: "He likes sweets? I'll bake something for him every week."

Me again: “He just got a new promotion? We should celebrate somewhere amazing, on me. Where’s my passport?”

Whoa. Overload.

How is a man supposed to respond to that?

So I’ve given up on my old friend, Overkill. And am working at allowing myself to do some balanced receiving.


Matchmaker, author and altogether straight-shooting gal Patty Stanger shared a formula for women re: gift giving in relationships that made instant good-sense to me:

Allow a man to give you two gifts for every one you give him.

Per Patty, this ratio allows your man the leadership/providing role in your relationship, which is where most men are comfortable.

2-to-1 also ensures you, the female, are actively engaged in being a blessing, without taking over in that category.

Whether it’s about dating, work-life, or relationships with friends and family, getting healthy about giving and receiving may feel strange on your skin for awhile. But the grown-up you will grow to like it.

And so will the folks around you.

Donna Summer belted Love To Love You, Baby’ in the 70’s. Listen to it, and you’ll remember that anthem has ZERO doormat/martyr factor!

Ms. Summer got the mix just right. Sexy-strong-committed. She wasn’t baking 12 dozen cookies for her love when she wrote that, I get the feeling. But she was definitely cooking.

Whew!

Love,
-Melinda


Photo Credits:
Paper Heart: http://leloveimage.blogspot.ca
How To Love Someone: Clara Z/Flickr
Cry Love: Minimil/Vetta/Getty Images