Go With All Your Heart. And Take Your Head Along.

A good friend turned 30 last year, as I turned 40. She recently emailed me, asking for perspective on the decade I had just departed. Was there anything I would have done differently? Did I have any advice to share?

Following is my response. She thought it a good idea for me to share with the readers of Super Much Love. I hope you find it helpful or entertaining, whatever your age. I know it was cathartic for me to write – to get these thoughts down where I could look at them. 

And be more than a little grateful.

My humble advice would be:

Get still. 

Know that your gut never lies. To strengthen it, work it like a muscle - use and trust it. 

Plan for a Plan B, as not everything is within your control. Even if you never need it, you'll be glad for having done the thinking required, always. You are the only person charged with looking out for Grown-Up You.

Use moisturizer twice a day. 

Eye cream. Right now. 

Lots of fruit and veggies and travel. 

Build spiritual depth so you can handle loss and disappointment with grace.

When you shower, think only positive things. About your body, about your day. 

Let your little lines and wrinkles be from laughter and from tears - both coming from a good place. I have a couple of small lines near my left eye that were the result of crying for several months following my father's death. I see them as a sweet reminder that I'm capable of loving and that my father was a very fine man. 

Remember that you can change course, and that others may not understand, and that's ok. They'll catch up. They are busy with their own courses. 

Spend as much time as you can with family. Make it fun. That could mean cookies in the kitchen. It could mean a trip to somewhere you've all never been. 

Take a camera. 

Take your heart. 

Take it in. 

Your mind, your body, your spirit are your own. They are your First House. They belong only to you, and to God. Ask Him to show you what to do with them. Don't presume you know or will 'figure it out.' 

Spend time with older people so you can start getting an idea of what you'll need to lay in now to have what you want later. Emotionally, practically. 

Children are easier to have in your 30's than 40's, so if you want to have them, make time for dating great people that enhance your life. 

If you're not compatible with someone, if you're excited about “helping” them, exit now. They have the right to be who they are, and so do you. Don't spend time on fixer-uppers. That was for your 20's to resolve. No more Lowe's for Love. 

Time is your friend, not your enemy. But it's not playing around. Treat it like the wise friend that it is. 

Love,

-Melinda

Photo Credit: Sasha Bell/Flickr/Getty Images